[Cagdu] For Our Pets

[Juliett Cody]

Hello Roger,
As you know having my girl Marly, and two new kittens who get wilder by the 
minute, I appreciate the message.
JC and m
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Roger Oberholzer" <roberholzer at roadrunner.com>
To: <cagdu at nfbcal.org>
Sent: Saturday, September 15, 2007 10:27 AM
Subject: [Cagdu] For Our Pets


> To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - pet
> nose height.
>
> Dear Dogs and Cats:
>
> The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain
> your food.
>
> The other dishes are mine and contain my food.
>
> Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my
> plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming
> your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically
> pleasing in the slightest.
>
> The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a
> racetrack.  Beating me to the bottom is not the
> object.  Tripping me doesn't help because I fall
> faster than you can run.
>
> I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed.  I
> am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue
> sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and
> cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep.
> It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each
> other stretched out to the fullest extent possible.
>
> I also know that sticking tails straight out and
> having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize
> space is nothing but sarcasm.
>
> For the last time, there is no secret exit from the
> bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and
> manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to
> claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your
> paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I
> must exit through the same door I entered.
>
> Also, I have been using the bathroom for years
> --canine or feline attendance is not required.
>
> The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other
> dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
>
> To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the
> following message on our front door:
>
> To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain
> About Our Pets:
>
> 1. They live here. You don't.
> 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay
> off the furniture.
> That's why they call it "fur"niture.
> 3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most
> people.
> 4. To you, they are an animal.
>
> To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short,
> hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
>
> Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because
> they:
>
> 1. Eat less
> 2. Don't ask for money all the time
> 3 Are easier to train
> 4. Normally come when called
> 5. Never ask to drive the car
> 6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
> 7. Don't smoke or drink
> 8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
> 9. Don't want to wear your clothes
> 10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
> 11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
>
>
>
>
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