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<DIV dir=ltr align=left><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><B>Subject:</B> A guide dog's
new years resolutions.<BR></FONT><BR></DIV>
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<P><BR><BR>From: Jenine Stanley.<BR><BR>A Guide Dogs New Year's Resolutions
<BR><BR>In 2008, I resolve to be more patient with my human about the whole food
issue. She is convinced dogs cannot tell time. This is definitely a hurdle
to<BR>overcome, but I will resist the temptation to shove my nose under her arm
while she is banging away at that computer or making the human breakfast or
some<BR>other inane task having nothing to do with feeding a dog. I will resist
the temptation to pull her down the street from the bus stop to our house at
light<BR>speed, simply because a meal awaits me at journey's end. Despite not
knowing when I may next be fed, I will resist the temptation to reach subtly for
a <BR>morsel of food left unattended. All to better myself during the coming
year. <BR><BR>In 2008, I resolve to conquer my anger and passive aggression
toward my human. This will involve not ignoring that pole just to her right as
we exit the<BR>bus. Oh, she did correct me for avoiding a seat with a bum in it
on said bus and made me show it to her, but I will be the greater being and let
it go<BR>in future. I will also strive not to sigh loudly and make the "F---
You" face when she corrects me in public. It is quite effective though I must be
again,<BR>the greater being. <BR><BR>In 2008, I resolve to perfect the skill of
navigating a hotel fraught with other dogs wearing harnesses in the guise of
guiding and blind people with long<BR>sticks. I will admit that my skill is
already at a superior level, hence my frustration and subsequent verbal
outbursts, but I shall attempt to quell this<BR>side of me in favor of
telepathic powers to learn the layout of the venue before we even set foot on
its grounds. I am, after all, perfectly capable of<BR>this am I not? <BR><BR>In
2008, I resolve to be less solicitous of attention from others. Why on Earth
would I even consider this? Well, it comes down to the correction. If I<BR>wish
to minimize these nuisances to my dignity, I must ignore the pleas of the
public, my fans and friends, for my attentions. <BR><BR>In 2008, I resolve to
seek help for my obvious issues with dirt. There has to be some 12-step program
somewhere for dogs who love dirt and dirty items.<BR>I'd wager there is even a
special subgroup for cat box issues. Enough said on this resolution.
<BR><BR>Finally, in 2008, I resolve to hold my human accountable for all of the
resolutions I have heard her make on this New Year's Eve, especially those
involving<BR>food. This may mean breaking some of my own, but as is the duty of
a guide dog, I am selfless when it comes to well, guiding, my human's life path.
<BR><BR>Jenine Stanley<BR>Power Corrupts.<BR>Absolute power is actually kind of
neat.<BR><BR>-- <BR>I am using the free version of SPAMfighter for private
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